One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
