the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
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i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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