They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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