I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
