belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
