this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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