Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
