I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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