I am spending my child support on dildos
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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