my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
