My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Randomize
