ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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