the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
