wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
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I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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