hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
