I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Redeem this text for a blowjob
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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