I got chris browned last night
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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