theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
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Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
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I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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