Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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