just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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