none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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