Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
