I wish i was in the wii world.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
