Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
