Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
