I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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