cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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