There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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