Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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