the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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