He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
