Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Still dying that you shit outside
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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