he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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