Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
