wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
