my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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