I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
