Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize