That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
