Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
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Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.