We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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