Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.