I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
