i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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