I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
MIDGETS
????
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
