Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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