I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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