i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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