So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
