My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
