i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
