I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
