I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
