Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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