She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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