I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
