hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
