Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
