help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
