we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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