I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
