her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
