Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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