weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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