this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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