theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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