you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
