So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
