lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize