Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
